For some the holidays are a very joyful time of year, for others, they are a very difficult time of year.  With so much social distancing in 2020, several are understandably feeling more blue than usual this holiday season.  Human beings are social creatures, we’re not meant to be separated from friends and family for months on end.  If you, a loved one, or coworker is feeling down, how much are you aware of the signs of depression?  And how aware are you of what you can do to help yourself, your loved one, or coworker who is struggling with feeling blue?  As change agents and leaders, let’s look out for each other, our loved ones, and our work companions this holiday season.  

Here are some signs someone may be struggling with depression:

• Trouble concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

• Trouble sleeping for several days (i.e. being unable to fall asleep or stay asleep, or sleeping too much)

• Feeling hopeless, despair, worthless, or guilty

• Continuing feelings of sadness or anxiety

• Loss of interest in things the person normally likes doing

• Feeling tired all the time

• Feeling angry, restless, or irritable

• Significant weight loss or weight gain

• Engaging in reckless behavior (substance abuse, reckless driving, dangerous activities, etc.)

• Increase in unexplained physical aches and pains

Life is full of ups and downs, and, when a down starts feeling persistent (i.e. more than 2 weeks) and the feelings are overwhelming, here are five things you can do to help yourself, your loved one, or coworker who is wrestling with depression:

1. Seek out support and community, whether it’s via Zoom, over the phone, socially distanced outdoors, handwriting a letter, or some other safe communication method. The natural inclination when feeling depressed is to isolate and remove oneself from interacting with people. Yet what is going to help is the opposite, i.e. feeling less alone and talking with people who are good listeners.

2. Exercise and get the body moving. It doesn’t have to be going for a run, one could crank up the music and dance in their living room. It could be going outside and doing some yard work. The important thing here is to get moving as exercise gets those endorphins going which reduces depression and anxiety.

3. Sleep 7-8 hrs each night. With so much depression and anxiety out there, a lot of people are having trouble sleeping, understandably so. And, one’s body and mind needs the sleep to recover each night. So it’s important to take the time to figure out what is going to work to get that beauty rest, whether it’s fitting in enough exercise during the day, taking some melatonin before going to bed which is a natural sleep aid, practicing gratitude, journalling one’s thoughts before going to bed, talking to one’s doctor about a sleep medication, etc. Find what is going to help to get that restful sleep each night.

4. Ask for help as no one gets through life without some assistance here and there. Even strong people can use help sometimes. Some view asking for help as a sign of weakness, and asking for help is actually a sign of strength. So reach out and ask for assistance, whether it’s emotional support, therapy, coaching, medical assistance, joining a support group, or some other aid that will help. If the person is considering suicide, get help from a counselor at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling 800-273-8255 (they are available 24 hrs a day).

5. Become aware of and challenge negative thoughts. Just because one tells themselves something is true, doesn’t make it true. So when the sadness or anxiety heightens, start noticing the thoughts (journalling can be an effective way to start becoming aware of one’s thinking). Once there is awareness of the thoughts, they can be challenged by asking questions like:

• How true is this really?

• If a friend was thinking this about themselves, what would I say to the friend?

• What is another way to look at the situation?

• How much am I imagining the worst possible outcome?

• What can I do to improve the situation?

The more one can feel supported, in community, have their endorphins going, be well rested, have clarity on their thinking, and get the help they can use, the less alone and isolated they will feel this holiday season.  So let’s be there for each other and we’ll all get through this together.  Wishing you and your loved ones joy, calm, peace, and tranquility this holiday season.

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About the Author: Rosanne Essiambre helps change agents and departments in one-on-one and group settings to be seen, be heard, and be effective in bringing about change in the organization and/or in their personal lives. She provides consulting and facilitation to organizations to improve communications and collaboration, smooth out the change / transformation journey, get to the root cause of an issue so it can be solved for good, improve processes, and implement successful lessons learned. And she conducts workshops, trains, and speaks on Energy Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, Resilience, Being a Change Agent and more. If you or your organization could use support with your change effort or some inspiration, contact Rosanne for a complimentary consultation. Rosanne is a Change Agent Coach, Facilitator, Six Sigma Black Belt, Change Management / Continuous Improvement Consultant, Speaker, and Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner with more than 20 years experience working on a variety of transformations across a diverse set of industries both domestically and internationally, while continuously improving herself.