With so many people in Massachusetts having trouble getting a vaccine appointment, I’ve seen a lot of frustration being vented, understandably so as people are desperately craving a sense of normalcy.  Especially when some other countries have been experiencing a sense of normalcy for quite some time now because of the national strategies they implemented early on in the pandemic.  

As change agents and leaders, we are very familiar with the feeling of frustration.  Sometimes it’s with leaders choosing to ignore an issue we’ve brought to their attention or not following a recommendation we’ve provided, sometimes it’s with stakeholders who are resisting the change, other times it’s at ourselves for not handling a situation well.  Regardless of the reason for the frustration, the question becomes, what do you do with that frustration?  What if there’s a better way to handle your frustration than what you’ve been doing?

Although it may not seem like it at times, there are many ways to respond to frustration.  Which of the below describes you?  If you’re unhappy with the one that describes you, who do you want to be instead?

1. You ruminate on the situation causing you frustration and replay the event in your mind wishing you had acted differently. You may complain about what happened wanting others to sympathize with how you’re feeling. You feel drained, disappointed, guilty, or depressed.

2. You fight and get into conflict over the bad situation, you can’t let go of what happened. You blame others for the situation, you use your frustration as fuel to take action, and/or you take your frustration out on those around you. You feel angry and resentful.

3. You seek to understand why the person / people are doing what they are doing. You take responsibility for your part of the situation and know whatever you are feeling about it is your choice. You find a way to cope, forgive, rationalize, tolerate, or compromise in the situation so there can be cooperation going forward. You feel understanding and sympathy.

4. You are very concerned how the other person / people are feeling from the situation. You take very little personally from what happened. You find a way to help the other people involved and you feel compassion for them.

5. You quickly find your calm, you see the situation as “it just is” instead of judging it as bad or good, you see several ways the situation can be resolved, and choose a win-win solution so everyone involved feels better. Differences are accepted or reconciled, and you feel at peace and fulfilled.

Which of the above would you rather be feeling the next time you get frustrated?  And which of the above results in a more effective change agent?

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About the Author: Rosanne Essiambre helps change agents and departments in one-on-one and group settings to be seen, be heard, and be effective in bringing about change in the organization and/or in their personal lives. She provides consulting and facilitation to organizations to improve communications and collaboration, smooth out the change / transformation journey, get to the root cause of an issue so it can be solved for good, improve processes, and implement successful lessons learned. And she conducts workshops, trains, and speaks on Energy Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, Resilience, Being a Change Agent and more. If you or your organization could use support with your change effort or some inspiration, contact Rosanne for a complimentary consultation. Rosanne is a Change Agent Coach, Facilitator, Six Sigma Black Belt, Change Management / Continuous Improvement Consultant, Speaker, and Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner with more than 20 years experience working on a variety of transformations across a diverse set of industries both domestically and internationally, while continuously improving herself.