Emotional Intelligence

Worry Taking Over?

Worry Taking Over?

Hearing about several companies doing layoffs brings the topic of worry to mind.  There could be the worry of whether:

  • Your company will be doing layoffs

  • Your job is going to be impacted

  • You’ll be able to pay the bills

  • You’ll land another full-time job you like

  • Your mental health will be impacted

And the list goes on.  As you’re reading this you may feel:

  • Your chest or back tightening

  • Your heart starting to pound

  • Or some other unpleasant sensation in your body

If that's the case, take a slow deep breath, in through your nose…out through your mouth…repeat until the sensation starts to pass.  It’s understandable if one or more of these worries and physical sensations are coming up as anyone who has personally been impacted by a layoff knows what an emotional rollercoaster this kind of change can be, and the unknown can be scary.

As change agents and leaders we all get touched by layoffs at one time or another in our career, whether it’s personally being laid off or seeing your colleagues, friends, or family affected.  At this point, most of you have probably been touched by them several times as layoffs have become a way of life in corporate. 

The question is, as you hear the latest lay off news, see the LinkedIn updates from those in your network impacted, if you've personally been laid off, or have something else going on triggering you to worry, how much is that worry taking over?

Click Read More to see:

  • What worry taking over can look like

  • What it’s costing you when this happens

  • Whether worry is a choice

  • The paths you can take to address it

How Much do you Enjoy the Drama?

How Much do you Enjoy the Drama?

Watching the midterm elections in the U.S. brings the word “drama” to mind. There’s the current dramas of:

  • Which political party is going to be in control of the House of Representatives in 2023

  • Some 2020 election deniers getting into office who will have control over the voting process in their states

  • Who will be running for President in 2024

There’s the recent dramas of:

  • Which political party was going to be in control of the Senate in 2023

  • All the political ad campaigns that attacked the opposing candidate, and included phrases and images designed to elicit fear, anger, and other strong emotions from Americans

  • The scandals breaking around the various political candidates

  • Several candidates running for office who are 2020 election deniers (i.e. a Congress Member who voted against certifying the 2020 election results or would have done this if they were in office at the time, publicly said the 2020 election was rigged or stolen, or still publicly questions the 2020 election results)

As change agents and leaders, we are very accustomed to being around drama. With change comes strong emotions. Where there are strong emotions, drama is bound to follow. Whether it’s drama with:

  • Stakeholders

  • A team

  • Our boss or coworkers

  • A vendor

  • A merger and acquisition or some other aspect of the transformation

Or perhaps it’s drama with:

  • Family (especially with holiday gatherings coming up!)

  • Your kids

  • Friends

  • Your partner

The question is, how much do you enjoy getting wrapped up in drama? Click Read More to ask yourself these questions to find out. You may be surprised to find you actually like drama more than you consciously thought you did!

How Well do you Weather Storms?

How Well do you Weather Storms?

Who knew two months later I’d be writing about a toilet again. On Sep 26th I went into my basement to find a sewage flood had occurred in the laundry room sometime that weekend. Unfortunately it had seeped into the carpeting the prior homeowners had installed in the adjacent basement living room. The same carpeting with asbestos tiles underneath I was planning to remediate down the road. So much for that plan.

As change agents we’re frequently making plans, whether it’s a plan for how to manage a change / continuous improvement in an organization, or a plan for something in our personal life. Undoubtedly something ends up going awry at some point with the plan.

Sometimes it’s a small interruption that simply ends up being a pebble along the way. And other times, it’s quite the storm that shows up and completely blows away the plan like my sewage flood. The question is, how well do you weather these storms? Read on to see what my sewage flood “storm" has entailed and reflect on how well would you have handled this storm?

How Well do you Apologize?

How Well do you Apologize?

How often does the below happen when you apologize to someone?

  • The person has their arms crossed

  • You receive an eye roll from the person

  • The person says nothing or they get upset

  • A big exasperated sigh escapes the person’s lips

  • The person has a look of irritation on their face

If you’re a change agent / leader and the above frequently happens when you apologize, whether it’s in your professional or personal life, it’s time to admit to yourself, you could improve how you say I’m sorry. Especially if you’ve been doing any of the below when apologizing:

  • Explaining why you did what you did

  • Defending your actions or making excuses

  • Following the words “I’m sorry” with the word “but”

  • Not actually feeling remorseful

  • Neglecting to ask how you can make it up to the person

Read on for what you’re actually doing if any of the first four items above fit, and how you can effectively apologize going forward.

How Well are You and Your Organization Handling the Transition?

How Well are You and Your Organization Handling the Transition?

Now that almost all the states are open again, organizations are wrestling with whether to bring people back into the office, do a hybrid model, or continue to have their employees work remote. After more than a year of working from home and not having to deal with a commute, going back to work in the office or a hybrid model is a big transition for most people, especially parents.

As change agents / leaders, we see how hard transitions can be on people. Many people thrive on routine as it helps us:

  • Find safety and gives us a sense of control

  • Reduce anxiety and lower stress

  • Improve sleep

  • Boost our cognitive function

  • Cope with the continual flow of decisions in our lives

Whether the transition from your routine is you’re returning to work in the office, or another of the transitions below, how well are you handling the change? Wondering how normal are the emotions you're experiencing during this transition?

How Often do you Ignore a Person's Feelings?

How Often do you Ignore a Person's Feelings?

As change agents and leaders, we frequently interact with stakeholders who are naturally feeling a lot about a change. Ignoring these feelings can result in stakeholders:

  • Feeling unseen, unheard, unsupported, unimportant, and more stressed

  • Disliking you as they may view you as uncaring and insensitive

  • Not trusting you

  • Being more hostile and resistant

In addition to the above applying to stakeholders, the same results occur in any relationship where you ignore a person’s feelings, whether it’s your partner, child, parent, friend, etc.

What does ignoring someone’s feelings look like? Take the recent personal experience I had with my vaccine.

Be Seen, Be Heard, Be Effective in Bringing about Change